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To give more into something that doesnapos;t really care is like nothing at all. I give up officially on this. Iapos;m tired of trying. Itapos;s best like this. Maybe for me i could end up like this like before. No one to talk to about things. Itapos;s much better. We may be drifting more than u think. You just donapos;t realize that sometimes it mattered if u were there� when i wanted to talk. But u werenapos;t. I know everyone had lives. Thatapos;s y moving here changes everything. It would soon be notice that maybe i am pushing u away. But to protect myself from this. Of losing another friend. Im tired of losing someone i trust.� i canapos;t trust anyone else. Im tired. No one else but me. Iapos;ve been thinking that if slowly i push u away. It would never go notice later. Friends donapos;t last forever..itapos;s not waht you think. Itapos;s not easy thatapos;s y after soo many times i finally decided to give up. On this friendship and probably everything else. Cause who else is there to believe in. I seriously donapos; tknow. Theres nothing i believe in that would make life easier. Itapos;s gonna be harder and i know i canapos;t rely on anyone. I didnapos;t rely on anyone then, now is no different. I donapos;t need no pity. I donapos;t need you. Please just leave me alone..................

invisible.

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Today. Is a crap day.

Why is it such a crap day?

Because there is nothing to do. Iapos;m bored out of my diabolical mind.
Normally in such a situation, I would continue working on Umbrella Chronicles on Pro Mode(for the third time), but the game disk is currently MIA and I fear Iapos;ll have to buy a new one. So the only thing keeping me on the edge of sanity would be replaying Resident Evil 0. Over. And. Over.
I think Iapos;ve just lost another few brain cells. Any more of this idle nonsense and things could get risky. Already, Iapos;m...getting an urge to socialize Jarod does not socialize Jarod� scowls in the background and hates whoever has the misfortune of merely existing upon the ground before him

Actually, this has been happening increasingly often lately. I talked with a Lady of Toast, and an ex-band member just recently. The Toast woman(Sheeda, I believe) invited me to eat at her restauraunt, and something possessed me to agree. The Shinon man, I suppose was for purely business purposes(and to keep myself busy), as I offered to fund a 69 Mercenaries reunion.

This ought to be interesting.



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To let you know I wonapos;t be around for some time (a week, maybe even more) ... I really have to study a lot: "teachers gone wild"
so just to tell you Iapos;m still alive. And I know I havenapos;t replied to your posts, but I just donapos;t have time to do it... *sigh*
Iapos;m very busy with everything right now, training (I ride horses as you know) and high-school
So I am not even going to turn on the computer for some time, because it takes away all the precious time I desperately need right now :)
OH AND I STARTED TO WATCH BROTHERHOOD (Itapos;s on Fox-Crime every Friday at 8 p.m. XD) And itapos;s amazing, I love it so so so so much, michael (jason isaacs) is soooo hot acting like a gangster :P I gotta love him more more :]
Okay, seeya around BBapos;s *hugs*

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Itapos;s been fifteen days since I started my vegetarian kick, and Iapos;m happy to report that Iapos;m still with it. No soda either. I was tempted for both when I was given a free buffet, but I managed to keep my promise. For this reason, Iapos;ve had to bad buffets. About a week ago, I had some friends come over for shinai (kendo) sparring/learning. When I did, I realized I could make a little Japanese meal for them. I made green tea that night and remembered how much I love it o.o I like it warm without sugar so there are no extra calories from drinking it, and Iapos;ve heard it has health benefits. ^^

My goddess, who I sometimes call my teacher, asked me to take advice from Buddhism so, I went out and bought a copy of the Dharmapada (The Way of the Dharma) which is the core teachings of the Buddha. Interestingly, BAM does not mark this as religious but as philosophical. It was a short book with very very powerful meaning. Combined with Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield, who has been a Buddhist and therapist for 40+ years, the translation became very clear. It would seem Buddhism is more of a self-diagnosing self-healing form of psychology, and from just a few days of itapos;s use Iapos;ve felt much better and been able to handle some situations better. I think there is a free translation of the Dharmapada somewhere online so, give it a try ok?

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Just saw the Thursday night special of Saturday Night Live, and again it just wasnapos;t as amusing as the skits with Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin. And Iapos;m not just talking about her brilliant impersonation (although it is brilliant); I mean the quality of the writing itself is not at the same level. So now Iapos;m wondering: has Tina Fey been helping to write the material she appears in? And if so, can SNL get her back as a writer, just for one or two skits a week between now and oh, letapos;s say Nov. 4th?
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